Monday, June 11, 2007
Weight problem
Since I wean Adrian, there comes a new problem: Weight Problem. My weight increases dramatically this last 3 weeks. Ouch!
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Bye bye baby...
May, 21st 2007
We went for my first pregnancy check-up. I felt nervous. I didn't know why, but seemed like my heart beat faster than usual. My pregnancy should be around 9-10 weeks old, but the size of the fetus said it was only 6 weeks old. The doctor said the baby didn't grow properly, that I had to give up my pregnancy. He told me to stop breastfeeding. We were in shock, my hands were cold. We really didn't expect this to happen. I was given 7 days rest, we should wait for another week and then decided whether we'll keep the baby or not. I cried all the way home.
May 22nd, 2007
I didn't go to work, I supposed to have bedrest at home. All I did that day was only crying. I felt fine, nothing was wrong but why I was told to let this baby go? I really didn't believe what I heard the night before. The doctor must be wrong!
We went to another doctor, we wanted a second opinion. We had to wait in line, it seemed like forever. When the doctor observed, he didn't say anything. He explained things at ease, he said nothing was wrong. Maybe I was only 6 weeks pregnant. But he also told me to stop breastfeeding. We'll see for another two weeks. We went home with smiles on our faces.
May 27th, 2007
I noticed a brownish spot. I told Abang about it but he said it was probably nothing. He told me not to worry.. in the evening not only brownish spot, there was also fresh blood. God, there must be something! :( We called the second doctor. He told me not to worry, my pregnancy was probably bad. All I need to do was pray, everything's in the hands of Allah. It sure dissapointed me, it was not the answer I expected.
May 28th, 2007
Still not satisfied with 2 doctors, we went to another doctor for the third opinion. This time I didn't hope too much, even though I still hoped the baby would grow since last week which meant that I could keep the baby and everything will be okay. But Allah wanted it differently. The baby didn't grow, instead the size was getting smaller. It was 0,48cm last week and then it was only 0,28. The doctor said there might be no longer bond between mother and child. The child wanted to come out by itself.
Well, at least three doctors had given us the same answers. All I wanted was to get it overwith soon. It was really torchering me, not the fact that I might lose the baby.. but the uncertainty of the decision whether I should keep the baby or not. There was still a little hope in me that I might be able to keep the baby, and seeing the fact that it was the other way around? Oh yes, that hurt!
May 29th, 2007
It was the day Allah answered our prayers, He gave us the certainty I was waiting for. I got a severe bleeding, I finally lost the baby.. It happened so fast. But Alhamdulillah, everything was okay. All I can do now is praying for her. Hope Allah will keep her at His side and make her the jewel of His heaven. Amiin...
We went for my first pregnancy check-up. I felt nervous. I didn't know why, but seemed like my heart beat faster than usual. My pregnancy should be around 9-10 weeks old, but the size of the fetus said it was only 6 weeks old. The doctor said the baby didn't grow properly, that I had to give up my pregnancy. He told me to stop breastfeeding. We were in shock, my hands were cold. We really didn't expect this to happen. I was given 7 days rest, we should wait for another week and then decided whether we'll keep the baby or not. I cried all the way home.
May 22nd, 2007
I didn't go to work, I supposed to have bedrest at home. All I did that day was only crying. I felt fine, nothing was wrong but why I was told to let this baby go? I really didn't believe what I heard the night before. The doctor must be wrong!
We went to another doctor, we wanted a second opinion. We had to wait in line, it seemed like forever. When the doctor observed, he didn't say anything. He explained things at ease, he said nothing was wrong. Maybe I was only 6 weeks pregnant. But he also told me to stop breastfeeding. We'll see for another two weeks. We went home with smiles on our faces.
May 27th, 2007
I noticed a brownish spot. I told Abang about it but he said it was probably nothing. He told me not to worry.. in the evening not only brownish spot, there was also fresh blood. God, there must be something! :( We called the second doctor. He told me not to worry, my pregnancy was probably bad. All I need to do was pray, everything's in the hands of Allah. It sure dissapointed me, it was not the answer I expected.
May 28th, 2007
Still not satisfied with 2 doctors, we went to another doctor for the third opinion. This time I didn't hope too much, even though I still hoped the baby would grow since last week which meant that I could keep the baby and everything will be okay. But Allah wanted it differently. The baby didn't grow, instead the size was getting smaller. It was 0,48cm last week and then it was only 0,28. The doctor said there might be no longer bond between mother and child. The child wanted to come out by itself.
Well, at least three doctors had given us the same answers. All I wanted was to get it overwith soon. It was really torchering me, not the fact that I might lose the baby.. but the uncertainty of the decision whether I should keep the baby or not. There was still a little hope in me that I might be able to keep the baby, and seeing the fact that it was the other way around? Oh yes, that hurt!
May 29th, 2007
It was the day Allah answered our prayers, He gave us the certainty I was waiting for. I got a severe bleeding, I finally lost the baby.. It happened so fast. But Alhamdulillah, everything was okay. All I can do now is praying for her. Hope Allah will keep her at His side and make her the jewel of His heaven. Amiin...
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